I obsessively washed my hands in fear of germs.
I went to graduate school inand one of the perks was an email address. Since making phone calls filled me with dreademail was like getting released from jail, or pardoned. I loved its asynchronous nature whereby I could send a message and the other person would read it without my having to witness it, or respond to it in real time, and vice versa, when I received an email I could spend as much time as I needed to get my response right.
Of course, my OCD loved email, because I could delay actions that caused me great anxiety, like spontaneous speaking, but slowly I began to realize that email had its own set of anxieties.
Email didn't erase my compulsion to making sure I didn't say the wrong thing, and most likely strengthened my fear of making a mistake. Writing email consumed a lot of time, because the using the "Send" command began to feel full of trepidation.
Once I sent my email, I couldn't take it back. Pieces of messages would pop into my head, as I retraced all the nuances. I dreaded this reconstructive process, because it aggravated all my fears of saying something wrong, every time I listened to my own message in my head. Responding to email was exhausting.
The written word has a permanent quality, an inflexibility, especially in email where there isn't tone of voice I certainly didn't know anything about "smileys" or facial expression, and I interpreted emails as if they were a holy text. What does this mean? What should I say in response?
Will this correspondent think ill of me? I chose email even when I started to realize that in some cases I would save a lot of agonizing by calling the person, but even though I could see that the email would turn into a convoluted dance of "Did I say the write thing?
Have they gotten it yet?
Why aren't they responding? I really need to know the answer to this question. Am I going to have to call, and then they will think I'm weird for emailing and then calling?
One of the exposures I did in OCD therapy was opening messages right away, especially ones that I was afraid of. I gritted my teeth the whole time, but I'd seen how my anxiety escalated the longer I waited.
I also practiced writing "inadequate" responses--short, quick, unrehearsed. Which, actually is what email is--somewhere between formal letters and phone calls. I'm never going to be a person who enjoys talking on the phone unlike my friend J.Mar 18, · This entry was posted in Betterment and tagged anxiety disorder, backtracking, handwriting, happiness, mental health, obsessive compulsive behaviour, obsessive compulsive disorder, OCD, steps to sanity, writing .
Oct 08, · Regardless, writing gives me two things that my OCD craves control and escape. Without being hung over or strung out and without fundamentally changing my personality. OCD is an interesting affliction.
At 7 years old, I was diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder, or OCD. I obsessively washed my hands in fear of germs. I sat at the kitchen table for three hours trying to get my letter “e” to look just ashio-midori.com time my parents would leave the house, I was convinced they were never coming back.
•The OCD Center of Los Angeles is a private, outpatient clinic specializing in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for the treatment of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and related anxiety based conditions.
In addition to individual therapy, the center offers six weekly therapy groups, as well as online therapy, telephone therapy, and. The name "OCD" is short for obsessive-compulsive disorder.
"Disorder" is a medical way of saying that something in the body isn't working properly. "Obsessive" means that OCD is playing tricks on the mind to make worries seem bigger and more important than they really are.
Aug 20, · Email and the OCD Fear of Saying the Wrong Thing Email was like a miracle. I went to graduate school in , and one of the perks was an email address.
I'm so much better about it now, but I used to get so "stuck" in writing an email, and re-reading, erasing, re-typing, etc. Email and the OCD Fear of Saying the Wrong Thing.