Do you feel like you have lost your individuality since being in a relationship? Do you miss feeling independent and confident in yourself as a person? Are you in an unhealthy relationship? Being independent and keeping your unique identity is SO important in a healthy relationship.
A Guide to Finding Yourself The greatest and most important adventure of our lives is discovering who we really are. Yet, so many of us walk around either not really knowing or listening to an awful inner critic that gives us all the wrong ideas about ourselves.
Who am I really? In order to be the most valuable person to the world around us, the best partner, parent etc, we have to first know who we are, what we value and, in effect, what we have Finding yourself again in a relationship offer.
This personal journey is one every individual will benefit from taking. Yet, it also involves a tremendous act of building up — recognizing who we want to be and passionately going about fulfilling our unique destiny — whatever that may be. With these principles in mind, the following guide highlights seven of the most universally useful steps to this very individual adventure.
Make sense of your past In order to uncover who we are and why we act the way we do, we have to know our own story. Being brave and willing to explore our past is an important stepping stone on the road to understanding ourselves and becoming who we want to be.
Unresolved traumas from our history inform the ways we act today. The attitudes and atmosphere we grew up in have a heavy hand on how we act as adults.
In short, they bend us out of shape, influencing our behavior in ways in which we are hardly aware. For example, having a harsh parent may have caused us to feel more guarded. We should always be willing to look at the source of our most self-limiting or self-destructive tendencies.
In his book Mindsight: After reflecting on the incident a bit later, Dr. These associations can make us act on automatic pilot. This is how the most challenging moments of our lives can become opportunities to deepen our self-understanding and our connections with others.
We can then start to consciously separate from the more harmful influences from our history and actively alter our behavior to reflect how we really think and feel and how we choose to be in the world.
Differentiate Differentiation refers to the process of striving to develop a sense of ourselves as independent individuals. Break with harmful internalized thought processes, i. Watch a whiteboard video on differentiation: Read more about differentiation.
Seek meaning Viktor E. In many ways, his very survival depended on maintaining this sense of meaning. In order to find ourselves, we must all seek out our own personal sense of purpose.
Finding yourself and your happiness is, therefore, a venture inextricably linked to finding meaning. Many of us fall too easily into victimized thoughts and complaints about our circumstances and surroundings rather than orienting ourselves toward positive goals, strategies and solutions.
Knowing what we want is fundamental to finding ourselves. This may sound simple, but most of us are, to varying degrees, defended against our feelings of wanting.
Wanting makes us feel alive and, therefore, vulnerable in the world. To truly live means we can truly lose. The experience of joy and fulfillment can be met with feelings of anxietyand on a deeper level, profound sadness. Getting what we want can also make us feel uncomfortable, because it represents a break from our past.
It strips us down to our more basic desires without the unnecessary layers of defense that divert us from our core values and truest selves. Recognize your personal power When we know what we want, we are challenged to take power over our lives.
Instead, we are accepting ourselves as a powerful player in our own destiny.
Harnessing our personal power is essential to both finding and becoming ourselves. We create the world we live in. To create a better world means shifting our outlook, feeling empowered and rejecting a victimized point of view.
Formulate goals and take the appropriate actions to achieve them.Jul 13, · Not losing yourself in a relationship is something everyone — of all ages — experiences. I have a feeling you two can be honest with each other to Home Country: US. But after vowing to never let myself lose myself in a relationship ever again, I had the determination to figure out what exactly it is that I want out of life and my relationships.
Through my eyes. The following are some things I realized I had “lost”. When you find yourself, your perspective on life, its purpose, other people, yourself, your past, and your future will change in a more positive way than you could ever imagine.
It will fill you up and elevate you to a new level of understanding: that you are you, and you are awesome. The answer to finding yourself again is to leave it. Your partner already doubts you can survive without him, so show him you can survive and leave.
But, you must go somewhere that is a happy place.
Finding Yourself Again Essentially this is a guide on how to heal after you go through a bad relationship, but the tips here can be used for almost any traumatic event in your life. It boils down to finding (and loving) your core-self again. Find a way to work through the lingering emotions from the demise of your marriage, advises psychologist Robert Alberti, PhD, co-author of Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends.